Coming at you from my new stealth blog haus here in the Commonwealth of the Bahamas, specifically on Nassau/Paradise Island. I have all the latest in technologies. For example, my mobile laptop has an automatic popup umbrella and sand shield for added protection.
I didn’t want to admit it before, but now that I’m in a safe harbor, I am NOT the father of Anna Nicole’s daughter. I just assumed someone would get the millions and I’d go on with my boring life. However, after learning about the FBI’s familial searches on DNA databases, my thinking is problematic.
Everyone knows that Familial searching, is the search of DNA databases for near misses that might be indicative of a family relationship between a known sample in a database and an unknown sample from a crime scene. Those pesky scientist’s examine the feasibility of using kinship analysis to accurately identify family relationships in a very, very large database. My conclusion: familial searching may well produce a new lead and I have a rather large and extended family of second cousins.
All of the data being collected out there…i.e., information about my distant relatives might provide insight about me and who I am connected too?
So, if one of Anna Nicole’s former bed pals DNA is a not-so-perfect match then the odds are overwhelming that the perpetrator must be in my family. Oh right. I’d pay child support, but NOT get the baby.
I want my boring life back! I’m truly an imposter and this genetic surveillance is invading my privacy!